January 5, 2008

Jean Diane Journey Convert to Islam

Jean Diane Journey Convert to Islam
for everyone
Alhamdulillah, I did not convert for something, my whole family is
Catholic, but i never follow them. Ii did follow my grandma to
Church but Allah knows what i feel being inside the church, so when
i enter singapore i just follow all my friends play around..
Till I meet someone whom become my boyfriend, He keep telling me
about muslim,but honestly,that time I use to hate muslims
people...,, 3 years he asking me to learn until i decided to ask
him to choose between his religion and his love to me,so he choose
his religion in break us apart.., 5months past i feel boring
wondering around
intended to end my life in an easy way.., I have a friend Mary
Agness, whom from the U.S.A. She is living here in Singapore for
maybe 5 years.
I told her that i got problem at nite.., like sleepless, so she
offer me that she can help me to buy a sleeping pills, and she
really buy for me..,, that day night August 15, 2003..,, it was
almost 12 midnight, when i decided to take the pills. I was
munching the pills in experience a bad bitter taste, I pick up a
glass of water that i get ready with, when suddenly i saw a shadow
in it look my grandmother whom is very old weak and sickie person,..
I heard her saying that if i die without believing in religion my
soul will be lost..,, so in that moment i was confused as what she
mean by that..,, so quickly I trow out the pills in my mouth but
keep the rest of the pills as once i have religion then i die....
With so many religion that my friends bringing me along as i have
Chinese, Hindu, Catholic and many more.., but my confusion is
whenever i follow them in once i'm inside i feel uneasy, i feel
dizzy or vomiting and that make me go out and go home..so that night
i have to lay on GOD to choose 4 me,,so i say those words...,,
That those words i said before i gone to bed..,
16th of August on Saturday, no dreams.., I told my self no dream as
it just a little hours of my sleep as i sleep by 3am then,..,
17th of August on Sunday night no dream.., still so i keep telling
myself that 7 days its along way.., So from that day i have to
sleep early to make sure i got long hours to sleep..Sunday night is
past but no dream..., I got six more days, so i still believe that
if GOD is really hear me he must then give me a sign, i keep telling
myself like that..,
18th of August on Monday night.., i had a dream that my two
brothers the first and the second brother whom not a muslim, them
self bring me to the mosque.., I yelled at them asking them why they
bring me there..??, but they never answer me they just walk away in
that make scream at them in that scream wake me up.., so i said its
a dream in suddenly i remember i asked GOD for a sign in my dream,so
i get up in see the time it was 3:00 am..,, so i wrote it down,
19th of August on Tuesday, no dream...,
20th of August on Wednesday night.., Ii was walking with my second
brother and 1 Man in his 40 to 50 years old at age were walking till
we reached a MOSQUE and my brother told me to go there, again i
yelled at him saying for what you bring me again? i asked him, he
never reply he just went off, and realised its only a dream,,then
muslim again i say to myself.., I looked at the time.. 2 am sharp..,
I went back to sleep without writing it..,,but i did wrote it once
i woke up....
21th of August on thursday, i went to bed quite late as i went to a
friend for visit and we play card almost the whole day..,, again i
asked GOD, ..Oh GOD, i sleep a few hour tonight but please give a
sign in dream still.. Ameen...,, again no dream i feel quite
disappointed.., as more days are gone but i told myself maybe
tonight another religion will come to my dream.., two more night
friday and Saturday i said..
22th of August on Friday night.., i sleep early again.., Someone
asked me to go some where, and I'm sure i know the place so i don't
need anybody to go with, i was walking up the hill with no trees no
houses its just a greenly grasses so i just walk up till i reached
on top the hill in found out the road had two way, i was confused
which one to follow, one just turn to the right side and one is go
down the hill, i suddenly forget the way i suppose to go..., I was
stuck on top the hill thinking which one to follow ??? in my deep
confusion i saw an old couple holding hands walking up the hill too.
They were so sweet that i say if only there is big tree here in bees
will bite them as they too sweet.., and they are too old to be
sweet as both of them are already white hair and the old man hair is
quite long between neck and shoulder.., and his beard is long too..,
the old woman hair is more long as i can't tell how long exactly but
really white hair. I was in deep thinking about the both of them who
they are..,, till i never realised they already reached on top the
hill and the old woman asked me..,, Where you wanna go ? i answer
her and she say that i follow them so i did, and we follow the road
goes right not the go down..,, again i scold my self in my mind that
i should follow that road just now, then i no need to asked this
two sweet old couple. I thinking like that.., then i saw a small
house green in color... Grainy told me to use my right foot to step
in to that small house, i just didn't care what the Granny said, but
when we reached the place i still follow what Granny say to me so i
make sure to use right feet to enter in while i left up my feet i
look up as something written on top the door and it said MOSQUE..,,
once i read that words i called up. The Granny asking why in the
MOSQUE again? but the old man came in told me..,, yes it is as you
asked for it... just after he said that words then i say What ? then
that What ...., woke up., then i see the time it was 2:30 am. I
gulp a glass of water as i feel so trishty, i tried to go back to
sleep but i just can't sleep as my mind is racing my heart.., i
dreamed 3 times of Mosque meaning that the sign GOD give me,, that
time i am very disturb as all my friends knows how i hated the
Now the sign I'm asking is to be muslim , i thought of hows my
friends will call me ? eat my own words ?. All my friends that time
scared to go against me as they know how brat am i, and they knows
that once i say a words, i make sure i do even it will hurts me.,
thats why they respect me..but if they found out that i be come
muslim for sure they mock at me, but i didn't promise them anything,
and i have promised to myself, so finally i decide to find the place
where they convert.
And yes i went to find the place in that day that time i realised
the Sun too hot like burning, so i sweat like mad as i need to walk
to find DARUL ARQAM. I walk talking that day as i really hate the
heat of the sun that make feel burning, so i talk to the Sun saying
even if u burst right now i still go to learn muslim, that what i
keep saying till i reached the place the old man in the mosque told
me, and yes i found the place.
And i was really get surprised as the man who explain a little about
Islam is a Filipino it self..,, I laugh to found out I'm not alone..
i asked them to convert me quickly but they told me that they do not
convert me unless i understand and know how pray in muslim way..,,
so i have to learn quick so that they convert me,, i they give me
book so called ESSENCE OF ISLAM, So i asked the brother what is
Islam? he told me Islam is the religion of the Muslim, so i learn
that Muslim is not the religion, so ISLAM is the religion's
name..thats the first i learn about the religion.
They asked me to registered so that when the next beginners class
they will call me to come back,,I asked if how long to finish the
class that they say they started two weeks ago,,the lady in the
counter said that 3months to finished, i say ok but in mind how
could i wait that long ? So that time i am still a so called brat
brave person,, so what i do i just entered and just sign on the
entrance list,so i went in,that time the ustadz talking about
Jesus, Quite interesting.., so from then i keep on going 2 months
already that i attending the class but they haven teaches us the
prayer of the muslim, so what i do.., i memorised the Alfatihah
then every monday, wednesday and thursday..
I wear cloths like the muslim dress up then i go to the Mosque, i
still don't know how to pray but i memorised the alfatihah so i told
a sister to teach me. From there i learn but still keep going to
the class at Darul.., we haven finish the beginners class but i
already book my conversion..,, the lady in the CDD, told me that i
must bring two man to witness my conversion and it must be a muslim.
I book still although no idea who i am going to asked for a
witness.., then i remember my ex bf, name Ratan Hussein..,, before i
went out from Darul. I asked Allah to make me see Ratan again as a
witness as he also keep asking me to learn Islam before.., now u. I
will tell you, some funny yet not ok..,,, in front of Darul there is
a bus for me to back home,but know what brother i find myself
walking on the road going to take MRT ? whom its quite far from
Darul yet very to walk back home..,, but i take train that
day..sunday 12 pm as my class end 11am..,,
When the train stop where i have to alight, i knock into a man he is
blacking my way our anyway so that time i am still a type of rude
person,so i say excused me in a harsh words, he say sorry..,, i
didn't care the words he say but his voice whom caught me as i
recognized the voice so i pull him out forced, he wanted to shoot as
he open his mouth but he hang on like that like he get freeze, so we
ended charting as he get surprised the way i dress up..,, so i told
him that i wanted him to be my witness of conversion but he need to
help me get one more person..,, He is very happy to know that i now
I did convert NOVEMBER 9,2003.., it was Ramadan time, so i did my
first fasting in my life..,, Ratan decided to reconciled with me so
we become an lovers again..,, he teach me some time and he always
prepared food for zahur and always called me to tell me time to
shalat..,,, I learn quickly and always keep my brain on what i
5 months later a test came to me, and i believed that ALLAH SWT.,
use Ratan to test me, why i say that.., because Ratan suddenly
change his characters, he become rude to me we quarrel everyday,
until he slaps me out of his ager..,, and with my anger, I Doa to
Allah that if Ratan not for me.., I please Allah to take Ratan away
from me.., a week later Ratan suddenly decided to go back home to
Bangladesh. I every day called him but what i get heartache's as he
keep scolding me even on the phone..,,, until very fine day, he told
me that i don't have to wait for him as he already get married in
there place. I told him that i don't care i still wait, but he asked
a woman to talk to me, in that woman say i should stop calling him
as they are already married... 2004 to 2005...,,
I cried alot for i do love him so much,, but i never stop learning
my religion..,,, i keep going to Darul till i met the sister whom
again maybe Allah useless to test me..,,, so now that i stop going
to darul just to avoid gossip and quarrels ,,, so insha Allah he
will protect me from shaiton (satan)..,, and may Allah make my iman
Thank u brother for the reminder.., in may Allah bless you for that
as you know when i read what you i can't help it but my tears they
just falls itself... Astaghfirullah al azziim,,,, your sister
Yes i know its our beloved Rasulullah beloved daughter,, but that
name when i convert they told me that i must have a muslim name in
suddenly i say Fatima.. Masha Allah..,, i didn't know..,, but
already my name ..,, so may Allah grant me some of Fatimah RA...,
character, in this Dunia... Amiin..

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